Male or Female?

SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears Useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just Opening bottles.

KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in Pairs.

TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere, You have to light a fire under it . . . And, of course, there's the Hot air part.

SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable And retain water.

WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its Tongue hanging out.

COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to Warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when The right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when The wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, But you can always see right through them.

SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to Pick people up.

HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over The last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men Pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always Know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.