COMPUTER TERMS

BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's
computer cost quite a bit."

BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time
bragging about your computer skills.

BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green
computer screen for more than 15 minutes.
Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after
they get your name on their mailing list.

CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to
avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.

COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend
too much time at the computer and not enough studying.

CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to
perform, as in "You $#% computer!"

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer
keyboard for seven hours.

DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you
get a new computer.

ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer
showroom to "just look."

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house
your computer and all its peripherals.

FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half
hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in
30 minutes.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due
to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy
equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting
your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends would
like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to
them again.

MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer
because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.

MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers,
this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who
always want to see your hall pass at school.

PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television before
you hooked your computer up to it.
RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers after only
a week and a half.

TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really good
deals on hot computers.

WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally
erase a program that took you three days to set up.