Funny Definitions...

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. 

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death